that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
