maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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