Midget sex pt 2 tonight
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
