Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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