remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize