I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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