he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
