Dual....:-)
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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