I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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