I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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