If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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