I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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