If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
