what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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