My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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