been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
