I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
