you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
