Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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