I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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