you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
