i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
