I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
