Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
