i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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