Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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