KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
