what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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