omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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