In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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