I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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