don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
