I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
