Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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