i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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