Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
