I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize