Whoa Z and x make the same sound
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
