the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize