Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
