took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize