Where did you get a picture of my penis
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
