Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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