i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
