the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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