But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
