it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
