How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
