So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
