nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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