Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
