When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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