Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
