She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize