i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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