I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
