I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
