It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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