so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We don't watch enough power rangers
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize