i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
