We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
