I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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