That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Life is so much better after having sex.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
