wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
