I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
