I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
